FIGHT ON

mama is getting thinner by the day
losing appetite but can see she is trying hard to eat too
too oily, veg, spicy, fried, ALL SHE DUN WANT
coz she said difficult to digest
but really see she is trying her best to eat something every day
be it cereal, milo or biscuit

i see le also heart pain
but what else can i do?
every night cry lor

can also see tt she struggling herself
but the day she stopped the chemo
we all knows well, does not mean the cancer cells will stay still and not move
sigh

so yes, they have spread
like wild fire
tts why mama legs now swollen
yes, not just the feet, the legs now.. all the way to the knee kind

"raise high 90 degrees"
who dun know
but its not easy
who dun know must walk, exercise
but do they know its very difficult and painful
sigh

only know how to make noise, complain, grumble
"listen to me, no wrong one"
FUCK U lor
tmd
really leh
u r no doc... but mama being mama, she just want to please all
and yeah, tts where i got my character from...
the soft one
who dun know tt u wont do things to harm her, but frankly, please la, u no doc, so dun pretend to be one or thinks u r one

"how many table spoon u took? got take one big scoop bo? listen to me, its for ur own good'
LISTEN MY FOOT LOR!!!
food already cannot go down.. u think only certain food have good appetite meh???

"i was just aways for 2 weeks and nobody do anything about the swollen feet.. sigh"
KNN
the feet was already swollen before u went for ur family trip okie
dun come and act like only u concern lor
and we r all blind
legs to raise up, who dun know... already done mah
but it wont means by doing tt the legs will become slim slim again....
so dun come and cry father cry mother with me

"mama goes toilet so long. got monitor or not? can monitor or no?  why go so long?"
HELLO!!!
how i know why so long
she got to wait for the poo poo to come out lor
duhz
monitor what?
monitor and then what?
what can u do? what can doc do?
NOTHING lor
just trying to pick a fight with me right

i seriously dun get it
if tomolo mama dun wake up from her sleep, does it matter any more about how many tablespoon she took, big scoop or small scoop? does it matter how long she stayed in the toilet? does it matter legs must raise 90 degrees and not 89.9 degrees??????!!!!??

i simply dun get it

we all love mama
this is a fact
but this is really too much for me
cant u guys just leave her alone and let her do what she wants as long as she happy

sigh

do u know for the past 2 weekends
she always say the sad sad things
things tt we no say before when she first went for the ops, or her second ops
she said about when she passed away she wants to have a niche (her ashes to put in the columbarium)
its okie if we dun go "visit" her as long as she knows tt she has a house.
alive got house, die also got house
hear like my heart so pain

she even said coz papa dun know how to use atm, so if he needs money, asked me to like give him the monthly allowance which she will transferred to me. last time she will say too.... but this time no matter how difficult it was for her to walk, how breathless it made her to walk tt few steps, she still make her way to the bank.  for someone who will walk instead of taking bus to the interchange and someone who wants save money dun take cab, she took a cab with the help of my niece and went to the bank and did the transfer.

i actually wanted to joke, if papa dun know then too bad no money for him lor
but then again, no la, not gg to make her worry

tts why i also wished tt i can also find my significant other half asap
to let her put heart tt someone is taking good care of her youngest daughter so dun worry
but i also know this thing cannot be forced de la
the two previous events which i joined also cancelled.... then what can i do right?
join again lor
hahaha
okie, so anyway all i wanted to say is, if i cannot find NOW, then remained single NOW not a bad decision until the good and reliable one comes along, right?

i can still be happy being single and also can take care of myself
so mama also can put heart
rather than b in a rs where i no happy at all, will make mama more worries right

i just wished tt mama will be happy and "healthy"
no pain no nothing
just no pain no nothing, i think u all should know what i mean ya

IS IT A SIGN??

i joined two events this month
but both events were cancelled due to unbalance gender ratio
=(

is it a sign??
>.<

sianzz

CONFIRMED

chop, stamp, confirmed, double confirmed!!!

HUAT AH!!

i recieved the confirmation letter today!!!

thanks everybody for your support and encouragement!!!

i will strive to do my best!!!

gam xia ha mi gua

>.<