GET USED TO

wow!!!
i managed to finish the gambling show in 1 day
shag lor
watched until i peng san leh

why dun stop rite?
coz i want to know what is gg to happen next and i just cannot stop
hehehe
i think this avivd viewers will know wat i mean

anyway, there was this scene, i particular wanted to mention here
coz it suits me so well
the leading actress wants to leave the leading actor....coz she felt tt she is hindering his future (actually no lor, its the bad man who claimed so and she soft hearted lor)
anyway, so she wrote him a farewell note
in it, she mentioned tt (cut long story short) "20 yrs of rs is not easy to put down but i will try to get used to not loving u"
wa kao!!
damn touching lor!!
anyway, u might not understand why i said its touching lor
unless u r in my shoes now...anyway...TOUCH WOOD!!!
will not happened on u guys ok!!
=))

i will also do just tt..."TRY TO GET USED TO NOT LOVING U"
swee, steady pom pi pi!!!

anyway, the final ending, the leading actress got come back and end up marrying the leading actor
dun worry, i know its only a show..so i won't have hopes
coz i learnt from my friend, "no high hopes, u won;t fall and hurt urself badly"
i got listen ok....hehehe

i will be able to make it!!!

CRY CRY CRY

someone suggested to me to go shopping
buy things tt i like and i will be happy end of the day
i know i will be happy but the stuff which i eventually bought home, is it what i want?

many yrs ago, i think just tt
spend $300 over and end up with many bags of clothings which i dun need
sigh
and worst, the colour is in BROWN!!!
ya, the clothings which i bought are all in the shades of brown
faint can
i am not at tt age to wear brown yet lor
and then i decided no more shopping when i am not in good mood except to eat
and eat i did
and put on the pounds and then sianz.........
decided no more eating when in no good mood

so now tt i am in no good mood again what should i do??
watch tv?
sleep?
listen to songs?
sing songs?
shopping?
go out and walk walk?

i did just all tt.......hehehe....
watch tv will cry
sleep also will cry
listen to songs also will cry
bath also cry
wash face also cry
do what also will cry
so would u suggest to go out??
better not

so did u guess correctly??? now all i do is cry
sigh
so useless rite?
not the usual me
disappointed in me???

i really need to find some activites to keep myself occupy so tt the mind won't run wild
frankly, i got to count my blessings tt i can still work, eat, sleep, drink, poo and shit...wahahahaha
Y still joked with me "as long as no constipation u will be fine" *faint can*
at least, weekdays, during the day time, i am occupied...i just need to handle when night comes....nothing to keep myself occupy

but hor, if really analysed the whole thing
weekdays i also dun meet or talk to him de, so nothing new...can still make it
its the weekends, tt i need to find things to do........sigh
but hor, frankly, weekends were spent for fishing and movie.....so also no do much ah
sigh....need to find something to replace fishing and movie....

its not tt i have no interests, ok la, i really have not much interests....hehehe
i just want to do whatever my loved one want to do...to be part of his life mah....

but hor, its not the activities la, its the person tt i am missing.....
not easy to say put down then put down de....take time....
if no love le, then easier to put down....tt shows tt i love him more than he loves me
wahahahha *arm chio*

anyway, once the well is dried up i will be just fine....i hope
then i can go shopping le....change my wardrobe....to BRIGHTER COLOURS FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE!!!

GAMBANTE!!!!

WAKEY WAKEY

i wanna cry but cannot cry
i wanna laff but cannot laff
i feel so suffocated.....blah blah blah

i heard this korean song on TV while watching the 7pm show
just feel tt it suits me so well now....
though i dun understand the song as it was sang in korean, i know how to read the subtitles....
hehehe

wonder when can i have a song tt will goes something like
my life is full of laffer
laff laff laff everyday
my life is full of love
love love love everyday
so sweet so sweet so wonderfully sweet
everything so perfect, what's more can i ask for....blah blah blah....

actually i did have tt song...but i think i must have misplaced it somewhere and lost it some how
well, no choice bah, got to wait for the lost song to come back or wait for the next better song

hehehe...i must be dreaming rite??.faint..but have faith will happen ...

HEAD PAIN

went for a site walk yesterday
actually wanted to open my umbrella
but then i dun want ppl to say me leh
so i just walked in the hot srorching sun
damn it
after the whole walk, i came back...head throb throb throb
head pain lor......
took a panadol and went to bed
even lying on the bed, head also thumping away lor

and yes, i just let the pipe burst last nite
but i think i was also tired and head pain
after awhile, i fell alseep
hahaha
too tired to cry

anyway, woke up with swollen eyes
sigh
so be it la, anyway, not gg out rite?
so i apply ice to the swollen eyes and then did a whitening mask!
hahaha
to prevent more pigmentations from popping up on my face and reduce the spots!!!

can be lazy cannot be ugly...
wahahahaha

SUSHI SUSHI

i finished watching the sushi show
hehehe
not bad actually
though they all told me after watching will wanna eat sushi, but i managed to curb the craving
why?
coz i was drinking coke and eating seaweed at the same time.......hehehe
and i think chi lam is more "addictive" then the sushi
hahaha

go watch bah if u want to eat sushi....

now i am watching the gambling show....also got chi lam...woohoo!!
yeah!!
so far so good....not bad....can consider watching

CHILLI PADI

witnessed this on the train

train door opened
this chilli padi stepped in
"excuse me, plse!! excuse, plse!"
think nobody moved
so the jing dian statement came out
"SIAM , PLEASEEeeeeeeeee!!"
wa kao!!
everybody moved.........wa kao!!
chilli pad rite?

and then i overheard this conversation b/w 2 youngsters
"ignore her, she thinks her papa owes this train"
kua kua kua

BURST PIPE

i actually broke down and cried in office today
tsk tsk
all becoz the radio was playing "duan dian"

waaaaaa!!
and the tears just flow and flow

actually, YY was asking me "what happened?"
and i told her dun ask le
then she continued with "its only temporary rite?"
and i told her dun ask le
then the radio played the song and tts it!!

burst pipe!!

luckily it was near lunch time
she quickly popped over and zoomed me off for lunch
sigh

should not have done tt
i mean cry in office
so unprofessional

my neighbour got shocked!! why was i crying out of the blue....
i dun mean to scare him, but i just couldn't control myself
duh

i will be fine, i know i can!!!
give me some time
the topic still touchy...

i am very thankful for my friends who told me tt "dun worry. he dun know how to appreciate u. he will surely regret it! u will find someone X1000000 more better than him"
i know u guys are doing it just to make me feel better and less painful

but seriously, 6 yrs leh...not say put down and can put down le
unless there is no love
oh! no more!!!! no more iloveu!!!
sigh

erm....actually, i got to defend for him here abit la
he is really a very nice person......and frankly, he is definitely X10000000 more better than the previous one
i cannot be eye sight no good one mah rite?
derrick is well liked by my family, friends and relatives....he fulfilled all tt i want in my significant other half.....just tt perhaps i am not the one whom he will want to settle down eventually

i admit the 1st one was lousy, but this one is excellent lor. will i find another excellent one?? wait and see bah
on the topic on whether he got appreciate or not, i think have la. like what honey said, the guy will not waste time for a person he no likes for 6 yrs...for what???
but frankly, accompanying him for fishing every weekends is not something so damn bloody big tt he must appreciate me rite?
he sometmes also went fishing on his own, dun need me ah
its me who wants to tag along
afterall, i always want to spend quality time with him......i just like being by his side, regardless of what he is doing.....dun u all agree???? u will want to be with ur loved one regardless of what he is doing...u just want to be with him....

to think i was so naive to think tt "hm..its april fool day today...everything will be fine if he calls and said "happy april fool. i was pulling ur leg"
wa kao!!
pull ur stupiak leg lor
hehehe
i was so stupiak, already said to live in the reality than in the fantasy world..coz he won;t be back...but i still choose to live in my own world...wake up bah.....i have to be cruel to myself in order to pick myself up and move on

well, like i said, if one day, should he decided to come back, i will definitely share the news with u all *beam beam*
but he won;t be back lor, so let's just face the reality now.....if he ever comes back, its a bonus......*beam beam*

i also want thank u all, who tried to make arangement to meet up with me, have dinner, go out for movie, go out do this and do tt
but frankly, ask urself how long can u guys accompany me?? how long can u guys stand a broken record and see me cry cry cry?? who wants to witness the day i stop crying???
u also have ur owm committement rite?
i cannot be so selfish and ask for ur 100% attention lor...though i really really want to meet up with u all...but sooner or later, i still got to stand up on my own and face it myself, bravely...
i got to get on with my own life....on my own...of course with ur support too la....
how can i ever do it on my own rite?
as long as i know tt u guys are there for me, no matter what, i will hang in there and hopefully one day, i will get out of the dark tunnel and see the LIGHT

unless u wanna intro some good guys to me, if not, dun bother date me out bah *evil*......i will come out when i am ready....though i also dun know when....

let's just do everything one baby step at a time....let's get over the crying portion then we talk abt moving on to the next step