HEART BREAK KID

i wonder sometimes how ppl will feel when they are unappreciated?
i mean like the "unsung heroes"
sigh

i always thought tt i just do my part, diam diam
dun need to announce and all
and still be happy end of the day

but i think i am bluffing myself all these while
why?
maybe to u, i am sensitive, but i think.....hm....... *pondering*

this cny, as usual, i will be buying the cny goodies home
but this yr, i decided not to, coz mama always will grumble and grumble
and also no home made stuff....(not like last time, i can buy from my coll whose mama makes delicious cny goodies and mooncakes too)
anyway, i decided to get one or 2 stuff just in case, ppl comes to our house and got nothing to munch on

as usual, its cny
so i will gave more $$ to my parents
i also did not annouced....i just give.....
coz i thought, tts what ppl will do
and moreover, its dad's birthday too

ok, to cut the long story short
this year, i am very disappointed

no. 1
i bought back the cny goodies, opened up and ate with my mama and the little one
ended up, few days later, my mama thought it was bought by my sister
kua kua kua

no. 2
sister gave an ang pao to papa for his birthday
dad was so happy and then he asked me "sister gave me ang pao. why u never give?"
damn tl lor
always want to come and talk to me abt money
buy tv, ask me for money
repair chair also ask me for money
want to go eat something when he has the craving, also ask me to give treat
i dun mind contributing, but is tt all i can do?
and why doesn;t he go ask sister for the money then...coz he knows tt she will not contribute
then where is fairness?
dun tell me no fairness in this world
(ok, true enough, life is never fair)

so i got pek chey
and told him to go look for his cfo coz i already given the money to her
and he still want to rub salt in the wound, "why must give to cfo and not to me?"
oh!!! please.......
every month the money goes to cfo lor
regardless of whether got festive season or not
so why this time must be special?
and must i annouced to the world at large........

this time, they really broke my heart......
for what?
i mean....
really "unsung heroes"
i dun mind, they think tt sister is always more superior than me
but....but pls dun treat me this way.....
it really breaks my heart

i told dear abt it
and he said its my own fault
coz i always want to diam diam abt the things tt i do
i cannot blame anyone
but i really dun feel tt we should be "bragging" abt it

dear said, we go out for big feast, i foot the bill and sister always get the credit...why?
coz sister knows how to shine at the right time
so i have no one to blame for myself.....
is it true???

so sad......can u hear my heart breaking into pieces.....
it has always been like this since young....tts why i dun ask for more
i just want someone to pamper me and loves me
so even if i cannot find tt someone, i will always pamper and loves myself by buying stuff for myself and also giving myself a good treat sometimes....

ppl can dun loves me, but i will definitely love me, myself and i......
muack!!
=))