BE STRONG

apparently I am not as strong as I think I am
"its all fated" I told myself
though I saw her lying on the hospital bed and she looked so fine
it just broke my heart

on u believe it, on my way to the hospital just now
I was already tearing away
when I reached simei
I just couldn't control myself, but I told myself I have to whether I like it or not

sis called while I was on my way there, she was crying away and I cannot hear her clearly 'xxx cancer" I heard
and I thought I heard "colon cancer"
sigh
went to google and true enough, mama's symptoms are the signs of colon cancer
my heart dropped

so there I was happily chatting with her
asking her what happened? whats wrong? pretending I dun know anything and there she was telling what happened....
its either she dun want me to worry, or she also like me putting on a brave front
she told me she also not sure
check this scan there
nothing just said a tissue growing in her
asked her why she dun know she growing tissue and asked why she wants to grow a tissue.. and we laughed over it

I was joking with her tt papa and her same yeah
both likes to go there and hotel stay
told her 3d2n stay and go home le
and she replied ya spend $30K like that and she seemed so sure tt she can go home tomolo too
told me to remind papa to bring her ntuc plastic bags so tt she can put her stuff in
who got the heart to tell her, she might need to stay just a little longer
sigh
really broke my heart

but I was still laughing and talking to her
asking her to rest well since papa not ard to "stress" her or order her ard

and the papa went to tell ah ma tt her daughter is in hospital
and of coz the poor old lady will go tell her daughters la
so ah yee WA sis and sister asked who tells?
mama already said no tell
I told her not me, and she said not her
so my guess was papa or
who else
and true enough its him

sigh
big mouth
pissed mama off.. haha
I think mama dun wan to worry ah ma, just like I dun want to worry the two old folks
and also she said after discharged then tell them mah
she dun want 1 to spread to another
I still think she just dun want to worry anybody

I told her
aiya, dun say also say le
just let it be
dun go think abt it le
just stay there and be happy and rest well

mama u be strong okie
we will all get over this together
just hang in there