DEAL OR NO DEAL

dear saw the patch on my scalp and got worried
insisted tt i must go see a doc....i told him its as big as 3 50cents coins.......

i checked the net
reasons for loss of hair
many many reasons
but since mine is a patch, it boils down to :-
1) stress
2) diet
3) portion of my cells mati, so tt portion went kua kua kua
4) illness

so which one is it?
i definitely want to go along the line of stress and diet lor
but frankly has been eating like this for 34 yrs lor
so cannot be diet but stress?
i also dun see where stress le
i can still eat, sleep, drink and be merry
so like dear say "u where got stress"
but who knows, i thought i can cope which in actual fact, i can't
i dun really want it to be 3 or 4........coz hor, the hair will not grow back le.......then how?
forever cannot have long hair?? forever cannot perm hair?

why like this?
why always me?
what have i done??
i just want a simple life
nothing complicated
just like i just want a simple love life
nothing complicated
but i always cannot get what i wish for........why huh?
what have i done in my previous life tt i am getting my just desserts now
sigh
so sad hor
i was really very upset
first the kidney then found out its nothing...
before i can put heart, then this......whats next?

dear said if i am wiling to go see a doc, he will bring me to hokkaido........
good deal?
catch is, he must go with me just in case i did not go

he also said i should just go cut my hair short first
and i told him "but u like long hair lor"
and he told me "short hair better than no hair"
"but i grew so long for so long i want to perm hair"
"no hair still want to perm wat. just cut it short first"
should i??

and when he send me home this evening, he said he promised me should i lose all my hair one day, he will still bring me out....i can wear a cap and he will cut his hair short to accomodate me
he said we will still look compatible. no worries
he is so sweet
but frankly, should tt day comes, i will not go out le
just like when i got hurt and scarred my leg during my poly days. i also tried not to go out (unless necessary) coz i was very cautious tt ppl are looking at my scar....and i felt very lousy and dun have confident....imagine tt is only my leg lor, now is hair leh.....how can i face it........i dun think i am tt brave....

i always pride my hair and my face lor
dun play play
money spend on these 2 areas, i dun mind and never stingy de
if u tell me no more hair, i think i will die..........
=((
frankly, think i will die when i no more hair le.......no more hair means something bad..........and the only think i can think of is cancer.......
=((

anyway, on a happier note
grab the trip first
hehehe
=))