JUST GO

he said after the long weekend, he will throw
within 24 hours
bye bye

sigh
=(

FOOD DELIVERY (N2)

 Monday meal....

 Tuesday meal..... I want to say the fish is ICHIBAN!!! hahaha
=D

wed meal is special!!! no need to cook rice, they provide... and comes with a dessert instead of soup....

apparently I think papa loves this caterer more " good good good"  is all I can hear from him
haha

TRIAL AND ERROR

tada!!!!
hahaha

still bland...
why the pumpkin not sweet one huh??
*ponder*

COLD WAR

war have finally started between them.........
better stay away.....
far far away....

*zip zip*

TRYING HARD

papa said want to eat western tonight
and I said okie
but if we eat western then mama eat wat leh??
*ponder*

so I decided tt mama should also have western with us.... afterall she ate porridge for lunch today....
*evil*


decided to get cod fish and then mashed potato without the gravy and also egg for her
so off I went for food shooping


to cold storage to get cod fish!! wa kao! one slim slim piece would set me back $16!!!!
so SKIP decided to go NTUC to get
went to KFC to get the whipped potato without the gravy... who knows the outlet in WHITESANDS dun want to entertain me
=(
*Sob sob*
and so I begin a quest to look for a KFC outlet who is willing to entertain my request
but before that, where to find my egg? coz I dun want to steam egg for mama.. too many steamed stuff also sian right?

and then I think upstairs heard all my requests
and then I saw the jap egg at this basement japanese shop in Tamp 1. one item off the list
NTUC finest at bedok mall got my cod fish, three pieces for $12 plus much cheaper than the piece I saw in cold storage at Tamp 1
and my gravy-less whipped potato from the KFC outlet in bedok mall
*clap hands*


results...














TADA!!!!

hahahaha
just like the porridge in the afternoon... BLAND!!!!
kua kua kua

I already marinated the cod fish with salt and light soya sauce le
how huh???
chef to be???
but at least I tried
I think mama will not let me cook again
hahaha

tsk tsk... think still a long way bah
haha

FOOD DELIVERY (AGAIN N1)

haha... we started the food delivery again
10 days trial....

DAY 1

2nd ATTEMPT

remember my 1st attempt using the ELB... me cooked plain porridge, steamed the egg and salmon.... and nobody wants to eat except the little one who gave me a little face and tried some....

today, I attempted to cook PUMPKIN porridge and steamed the salmon too... ta da!! not bad hor.... haha
dun asked me how much rice and how much water I put... coz I dun know too.. it was all agar agar....
and frankly dun know why the pumpkin not sweet de.... and had to add light soya sauce to taste better....

but I think I did a good job though
*pat on back*

CHEF TO BE

I used the ELB to steam salmon again!!
haha
not bad leh
I think anything to do with fire, I might not be able to handle well

BUT if u tell me to just throw everything into a pot. press start and just leave it
TADA!!!
I think this ELB works well for me
=D

suddenly I am a good chef???
lolz
steam chef... lolz

KALIPENG

my fav kalipeng
>.<

*nom nom nom*

AT ONE GLANCE

always wanted to get this stand
can see my all my lipsticks at one glance....  *beam beam*
but very exp... $20 over bucks wor

finally saw it in EZBUY... selling at only $6 (all in rate)
WA LAO!!
where to find??  lao sai price lor
good buy must buy

now my lipsticks are organised!!
haha

HUAT AH

VISITING MEALS

My meals in SGH when I went to see mama.., frankly speaking..... not bad leh...esp the laksa and the fried fish soup....
*nom nom nom*

must eat well and rest well
always remember whatever it is, first take good care of urself then u can take care of others...

take aeroplane also got teach u ah
wear the oxygen mask first before u attend to the kids

LEAVING SOON

TM came back from his long weekend and told me tt the other side had offered him
and he is gg to take it up

i really hope he would be happier over there
post offered SAD
yappie.. a very sad post
lolz
hahaha

anyway wish him all the best although i am sad to see him go....
but better than staying here and he is unhappy

good come good go bah
hope he wont create any problem
=D

COME OR DUN COME

was sitting in the ward with mama previous two nights
mama suddenly asked me this " u see the auntie every night got to many ppl come and see her. when she discharged, will these ppl still be so filial and come and see her every day?


I looked at her
and told her "mama , after u discharge and come back home.  I also wont care abt u de.  u do ur things, I do my things. dun come disturb me. just like now, u do ur things, I do mine."
and she replied "good"

*beam beam*

I think mama should be able to understand wat I want to tell her bah
its okie tt sis dun come, life back to normal, nothing has change, everybody doing their own things. life still goes on...

I can sense tt mama was quite sad
always in deep thoughts sitting there staring into the air
but what can she do right?
telling me sis comes later and later each day.... and will go off at 3 plus....
frankly to me, got come is good enough le
come le, dun make din din and dong dong... its the best

in my humble opinion if possible really dun come la
once in a blue moon come, all hee hee ha ha can le
every day meet, really CMI

like today we were taught the stoma bag aka shit bag
she saw the shit in the bag and went "like tt how to change? mama u dun eat so much la"
then when the nurse was changing for mama.. she told me "wa! can smell it. cannot" and she walked out of the ward with her coffee
then when the nurse changed finish, she again told mama not to eat too much and then said "anyway its papa and sy gg to change." then she added on her girl.

i dun know what to say
when we were young, we also poo ... last time no pampers... only nappies.... mama also like tt changed us but since when she told us "dun drink too much milk huh" OR " dun eat too much huh"
frankly... speechless

anyway like i said
better to meet less and talk less
and i have decided
PERIOD

GOING HOME.. FINALLY

YIPEE!!!

mummy is gg to be discharged tomolo
*clap hands*
so happy for her
cut the two tumours and then recovering well and soon start treatment and she would be well soon!!

HUAT AH!!
like I said, each brand new day is a blessing so we should be thankful
just want mama to be happy and nothing else is more impt

during this period
I realised one thing
and I also decided tt I think its best for us to meet lesser... and BEST we dun talk
its either she damn super clever or I damn super duper stupiak

anyway its all gg to be over soon and I also decided from now on, when she comes over, I will go out
not tt I dun have a house to go to now, I also have my own activity lor
cant talk to ppl's whose frequency is not on par with or dun even try to be on par with

give an example

mama has this bottle which she carries ard to collect the blood inside her body (left over from her ops  I think)
TODAY the nurse told us  to every AM, eg at 8 am(then every AM will be 8am), to do a marking on the bottle and indicate the date there on the tape
simple as one two three right?

when I went to see mama yesterday,  mama told her side of the story and said she told the nurse, "ai ya, dun need to tell them la. u wait till tomolo to tell my sister. now u tell them, the next moment they will forget"
OK, fine lor
then sis told mama "u mark on the tape, get sy to record the reading for u"
mama told her "sy goes to work le lor. tell her for what?"

when mama told me, I was abit piss off
I can imagine the way and tone she used to tell the both old folks off .tt face of hers, also jing dian one.. like will die any moment kind
anyway why I am pissed... coz I am wondering if mama can mark, why she cannot record?
and I have to go to work lor... does tt mean if tt day I need to OT or if I have activities after work, I got to all decline and then rush home to record for mama???? of course she will can tell me no la, u can go out. nobody say u cannot go out. u come back then record lor....  but the thing is if i come back late.... then i on the bedroom light and disturb mum;s sleep just becoz I want to record... then ku ku right???  if she wants to pay me a salary I can quit my job and be at home full time.. duhz
to me, mama can always mark... and she can write the date herself.. if really need to write it down on the paper, I can always do it on a weekend or whatever... NEED TO EVERYDAY note down meh??

frankly, dun know is it she wants to find trouble or what
duhz

anyway I just diam diam, dun want to talk much
for what??
dun want to waste time with such ppl

anyway I told mama dun worry la. dun care abt her. we just diam diam and do our own way.  BUT end up see what the nurse told us today???  just mark on the tape and write the date... so difficult meh??  mama cant do?

and today she even got the cheek to asked me "what time u go to work every morning?"
"630am"
"why so early?"
"what early? got to work?"
"why so early la?  u want to save on transport huh?"
"no need to work huh? u want to take care of me huh?"
and she diam diam

frankly, if I dun ask her why she needs to breathe and eat.. dun ask me why I need to work early


since mum is gg to be discharged tomolo
I quickly go book the tingkat
still the same, 10 days trial S$117.70 for 2 pax. 3 veg and 1 soup
this time, I did not request for no spicy no fried food.  but I just told them IF possible
coz afterall, mama is on soft diet
haha
porridge, noodle... okie okie.. soup with rice.. okie okie

so happened sis asked abt mum's meal
so she said she will cook porridge herself and add some meat or fish
then she asked papa and I eat what
I said we will have tingkat. I ordered le
and she went "i think its much cheaper to just ta bao the economic rice from downstairs lor.and more fresh. and also can have varieties. chicken rice. western food, etc"
I looked at her and said "I am okie de. I can eat outside and come back. if papa wants to ta bao then ta bao lor.  but I have booked liao.so we just eat tingkat for next 10 days.. then after stop.. u all want to do what then do.

I dun understand why economic rice is more fresh than tingkat???
they also cooking in mass leh.. just tt they dun deliver... hehe
I dun know leh.. need enlightenment
we also have varieties wat... coz sat and sun no delivery.. so we choose to see wat we want to eat lor...
I thought its okie. me looking at convenience....
papa dun need to go down.. and would be at home with mama....
all he needs to do is cook for mama and cook rice for dinner
tts all
as simple as tt
dun need to go down..then rush back up coz he worry mama alone at home..
u know what I mean..
mama dun need to worry tt papa has nothing to eat and papa dun need to worry mama alone a home....

anyway I dun care la
I have done so much... should any one feels not right
then so be it
10 days after, do what they want bah
want to find trouble... no problem.. just provide a solution

cant talk
no same frequency

FIGHT ON

mama is out of SICU
and gotten her own bed !!
*MANSE!*
*clap hands*

when I saw her in the SICU yesterday, she was full of tubes.. see le also heart pain
drifted in and out of zzzz
ai ya
dun want to talk abit it....

today I saw her in the ward, still zzzz but dun know why, just felt tt its lesser tubes
=D
mama still drift in and out of zzz
but some how she looked fine

guess the medicine still inside her bah
hope she gets well soon....
need to start chemo soon
hope she eats and put on weight and fight the remaining battle

GAMBADE!!!!

FOOD DELIVERY (FINAL)

the last two delivery.... 

 

 

did not get to eat the Monday ones coz we came back ard 9 plus and we had taken our dinner in the foodcourt in SGH.. we had to throw them away.. so wasted lor..

i ate the last tingkat today
loves the greens and the eggs....
=D

so u can really witness for yourself, the food are really like home cooked food...
nothing fanciful....

some days the food are okie... some days the food are so so.. and some days we dun like what we see
haha

over all, if i need to rate them... its 7/10
most of the time, i am okie with the food
no choice, coz i requested for NO DEEP FRIED, NO CHILLI
so i guess limitation of choices

and who is tis lucky caterer i ordered from

HONG CHOO
=D

thanks for the food delivery... helped me out a lot
=D
coz mama cant go market and too tired to cook
and tingkat really helped a lot

mama discharge, i would have to search for another tingkat if mama still unable to cook....
hm.... whats the next one on my list...
*ponder*

THANK GOD

ITS A SUCCESS!!!!

HUAT AH!!!

all removed!!!
whatever can be seen, its removed

really a relieve!!
really thank god!!

asap to start the chemo to prevent relapse!!!

Fighting!!!

its a battle mama has to fight on her own


FINALLY!!
can eat and sleep well .....

one battle own... another is gg to start
but again, we will do it together.....
FIGHT ON

I want to thank all who has been quietly giving me your support
and hearing my nonsense and rattling...
from the bottom of my heart
TQ my dear friends!!
love u all
*muack muack*

PUSH ON

finally!!
tomorrow is the day!!
BUT
no timeslot yet

pushing very hard for an operating theatre
but till 820pm tonight, no room yet

I think human very "mao tun"
when no scheduled operation, worried like mad, cry like mad
when scheduled operation liao, worried like mad, cry lagi mad


sigh
I also dun know
the thought of it, I just dun know why, the tears just flow.... but the more I want to control, the more I broke down
many times tonight, I almost broke down
but I held it back
how long can I hold it in???

I think all we can do, we did le
give her the most beneficial food/drinks
but she cant eat or drink
try to be positive about the whole thing. told her to be strong and fight on
coz there is nothing we can do, she has to fight on her own
went to temple and prayed for successful operation and smooth recover
not gg to be easy, all operation would have their risk.....
leave it to the doc
leave it to mama
leave it in god's hands

FIGHTING!!!

there is this lady patient sleeping opposite mama
she was telling the doc when the doc came for inspection " got to do means got to do. scare also got to do right? so just do it"
*clap hands*

well said
who not scare
I wat also scare de lor
what if I am gg to lose mama...
it was really a relief when doc said the cancer cells has not spread and quickly schedule for an ops
 ... but I also know if dun ops, I will even lose her faster
then after ops, the treatment will kicks in.. and then I would start to worry, can she take it? esp she cant eat now.. how to get stronger to fight on.....
sigh
every single step forward is a battle won....and every battle to be fought, always so worrying.....every brand new day is a blessing

i know either way I would also lose her.. sooner or later.... if she not sick, I would also lose her when she gets older....
E told me "death not scare, all will die one day, its only how we die"

so "got to do means got to do. scare also got to do" 
scare also got to go thru it
dun want to have any regrets!!!
wont give up without putting up a fight!!

and as a family, we will all go thru this TOGETHER!!!
like it or not...
scare or not...

JUST DO IT even if the chances are slim

god bless mama, u and me
*amen*

APPROVED TO PROCEED

ECG showed tt mama's heart is OKIE
so the surgery is gg as scheduled
HUAT AH
*clap hands*

apparently seemed like she had a mild stroke previously and she did not know about it
that's why her heart was weak when they first did the test
so when they carried out the more detailed check, it showed tt it was well...

I told sis tt I have applied leave on Tuesday to go together
she said "dun waste the leave. u can come after work.  apply two days leave on wed and thur instead. after all mama would be in drowsy mode after the ops. and we cant do much"

I dun know do u know what I am thinking... but I do think u can some sort figure it out... after work I sure will go even if I dun apply leave..... but on the day of ops....
anyway I also dun want to talk to her too much la
her frequency and mine too different le
I just told her "never mind la. I just want to be there when she is being pushed into the operating theatre"

mama u be strong!! I will also be strong.. we shall all be strong
dun u worry about a thing, though we all know we are all worrying... but then... still....
FIGHTING!!
cut it all out.... and then proceed with treatment and we will take it from there....

ELECTRIC LUNCH BOX (ELB)

I decided to get this ELB
so tt I can steam the egg and salmon in the AM and maybe the porridge, so tt when mama wakes up she can eat them for breakie
damage S$50

worth it??

YES!!!
haha

I think I need not say much
the photos paint a thousand words

half an hour later... three simple food are done!!
I added the red dates coz wanted some sweetness in the food, so tt mama wont finds it bitter
but end up, she still said she dun want to eat
=(

of course, if u dun want, u can do two tier... if not one tier also can
three tiers u have three dishes
2 tier two dishes
and of course 1 tier is one dish lor

frankly speaking, I am very impressed by it
I just put all ingredients into the containers provided, add in water for steaming.. put the containers into their respective tiers.. locked it up... and plug in and press on

I went to continue watching my drama.. and when 30mins is up, I went to check on the food.... and he presto!!!

now I got a big pot of porridge, some salmon and steamed egg
lolz
I took a small bowl.... ,mama said she dun want any, and papa said he go tabao his lunch later

well, so be it...
at most throw away if I cant finish

LESS SUGAR

this is the current milk tea I drink every AM
E went for her JB shopping and got almost the same one.. but "less sugar"
she said she likes it and bought it for me to try
hm... I know its healthier...less sugar... so I said "TQ" and will drink it every alt days???
>.<

thanks my friend!!
=D

FOOD DELIVERY 4

why got drumstick??
coz we are almost coming to an end to our 10 days trial
so to pamper ourselves,... I bought the drumstick for papa
but end up... lolz... he said he cant bite into it.. too tough
opps!!!

and I also got mee sua for mama
coz I googled and they said if lose taste bud maybe can try vinegar food
but then to mama.. still "bitter"
hm...
and so papa said he wants to eat the mee sua instead of the tingkat
*nom nom nom*

swee *clap hands*
haha
think he sian of the tingkat le

anyway from next week onwards.... he can eat anything he wants coz mama will be hospitalised on Monday for her ops on Tuesday.
haha.. come to think of it.. its we can eat anything we want.. lolz
like what sis said "the healthy ones go ta bao. mama will at home cooked"
hm... and I wonder eat ta bao until unhealthy then she will cook for us too??
hm.... *pondering*

STAGE 4

its a stage 4 cancer
currently no spread of the cells
but mama's age and her weight and of course her weak heart (just tested today).. is gg to make the surgery a very challenging one

FIGHTING mama!!!
just fight on!!!

shifted from CGH to NCC
so gg for an emergency operation, scheduled on next tue
say what u want
but I am really happy now tt we can finally just cut it off, start the treatment and move on
instead of worrying whether spread here spread there what other implications she will be facing
really thank god!!

sis said to meet and then we have a family open discussion
I said okie if that's what she wants
then she yak yak yak and I said I dun need to know the details just tell me the outcome and what to do
then she started to scream and shout
said if she not ard how, we need to all come to a common decision and if she not ard, at least decision is made....
then she shouting about she still thinking want to cancel or not her trip
and not tt she dun want to cancel, she is okie to cancel her trip not say what

PLEASE LOR
if u want to cancel just cancel, if u want to go just go
whatever it is life still goes on....
is whether she wants to go for her trip or she wants to stay lor
obviously she still wants to go for the trip, if not she would have cancel le
told her if she wants go she just go... someone has to take over, so just let me know what to do
dun come and act so wei da lor
really pissed me off
anyway whatever, I was still calm and cool abt it when she was starting to be unstable liao

frankly to me, she gg or not on her trip is not of any importance to me
mama is priority now
so I dun need her to come and tell me abt her trip, cancel or not.. I dun need to know the details.. just tell me, cancel or not
period

anyway with sister ard of course good la
she did all the administrative work from start to end
bring the old folks to the doc and liaise with the doc and all
I am really very grateful for tt
but then again, she is also their daughter lor,
she also has responsibility towards them

at least I do stay home most of the time
Monday to sunday
occasionally I of course will go out.. but I dun stay out late or worst like sister full of appointments and all
but I dun need to compare these with her
coz we do two different things
she brings them to doc.. I stay home look after

so anyway she started to telling me tt doc said eat many meals no need to eat one full meal coz she understands its very difficult for mama to eat anything now
and I just told her casually so u go tell papa that lor, keeps forcing mama to eat
then she said well mama can always ignore and walk away
then I said how to walk? she so weak now u must be joking lor
then she said ai ya, then what u want me to do
I said u go tell papa lor
then she started to scream and shout again tt if she did it, then its like she is the bad person
then I said I already said, and he still like this, so she would have to be the next one lor. then she said she dun want to be the bad person so leave it
and inside my heart is THEN DUN BLOODY FUCKING HELL COME AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO
then she said why not she brings mama over and stay with her, tts the solution she gave me
and I said then u got to ask mama tt, dun need to ask me coz I cannot answer for her
then she scream and shout again tt since I am complaining then she offered me a solution, if I dun want to take it then shut up
inside my heart , I was like she started it lor, not me leh...u want to tell me do this and tt, I telling unot easy but I try lor ....but I was still calm and steady , I told her i told u le. u want to bring mama over, u go offer it to her, dun need to tell me, i cannot help her answer u.  like I told u, u not staying here, u dun know what is happening here. ai ya, never mind la. its okie la.  just tell me what u want to say this one not impt
 and then she started to scream and shout again abt that's the solution she can offer me since I complaining
and inside my mind, I was like SINCE WHEN WAS I COMPLAINING
anyway only she right, only she did a lot of things.. she no see what others are doing

anyway I just totally ignored her

and then she said we will talk on sat and make a family decision
I told her just do what she needs to do I just follow but spare me the details
and then she started to scream and shout again, tt we never go to the doc so we dun know what happening, so she wants to let us know
I told her I dun need to know, just tell me the outcome coz papa already told me all those which she has been yakking in the phone for the past 10 mins

and then she suddenly go crazy max and went did papa tell u everything? did he knows everything?
did he know the seriousness of mama's conditions.... blah blah blah

and she really gets on my nerves le
then I said even if papa dun know then let it be
why must she go burst ppl's only little tiny hope
whats wrong with her?
they so old le, why still want to add on their worries
if they think cut off le, all will be fine then so be it. let it be. let us the younger ones be the one to worry abt the rest
even though its the fact tt its very serious, but why she just have to go burst ppl's tiny hope

and then she went super crazy, shouting and screaming into the phone
saying why am I crying? why I need to cry? am I under a lot of stress or what?  why made her seemed like the bad one..blah blah blah
and I just disconnect the phone
hahaha
BINGO!!
I dun talk to ah siao
screaming and shouting.. how can I hear wat she was talking....

dun waste my time

*du*


why I cry? not becoz I am sad or what
is becoz I wondering why my sister wants to go burst the old folks's tiny little hope
4th stage cancer leh
whats the recovery rate?
its so very slim
let others have a glimpse of hope so difficult meh??

always so easy for others to say, I wonder if it happened on her, will she also want to hear all these
"u know, ur tumor very serious. cut off le also very serious. coz got this and that.. and also dun know what is it until we open up and check on it when we remove the tumour.  so need to go for another test to check it out. but based on the expert, she is saying is not very good. blah blah blah. so u okie hor.  blah blah blah

I know I know
I know the fact is the fact
we all have to accept it
but I doubt if u r the patient this is what u want to hear
let the saying goes. if got hair who wants to be monk/nun???
so if can live, who wants to die

anyway, dun know why we cant talk de
she is totally out of my league
tsk tsk

then few mins later, she called and spoke to papa and mama
and then told mama she worried abt her, she is just showing concern to her. blah blah blah

FOOD DELIVERY 3

 

                                                           
dun really like the nai bai, coz its bitter.. dun ask me why... but its like that leh...

 

 

this meal still okie... the chicken wings is the best... but the veg still is bitter .. the soup is tung hoon with fish balls.. nothing fantastic... but I can just have rice with soup... not a big problem to me
 

                                              

these were tonight dinner... hm.... also not very what... and it was late...ard 7 then arrived.... omg!!! but luckily too, coz the two old folks came back ard that time from the hospital.... so when they settled down and all.. rice just cooked and we can eat le....

anyway, mama said dun want to continue le since papa dun like the food, so tomolo needs to call and cancel le if not they will continue with the delivery

12th apr will be the last day for the tingkat.......  mama's operation date

TEA TIME

tada!!!
I saw red date porridge when I was on my way to the temple on sun in tampines
I googled and then ho say lor
let me found a treasure!!!

of course, I dun know how to cook
but make tea
sap sap water
hahaha
red dates with logan

go goggle if u want to know what's the benefit of red dates....
>.<
the most impt thing is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

good for ppl suffering or recovering from serious illness
AND
.
.
.
.
.

suppress cancer cells!!
*clap hands*

of course, maybe u will tell me its heaty leh.. can mama take it?
well, I dun know leh
coz I not a doc
to me, she said she tasted the sweetness..... so I will let her drink if she OKIE
more beneficial than drinking plain water??!!!??

and also aids in blood circulation, sleep, digestion. etc
and also its rich in protein, calcium, potassium, magnesium, iron, vitamins too!!!
*clap hands*

though I know its not easy to recover from this ....well, one day is one day right???

HUAT AH!!

and since I was on my way to the temple and there has many medical halls
popped into one store, and bought all at one place......
*beam beam*
and anyway, I also can drink.. good for ladies wor...
=)

as long as she tasted something, no longer bitter taste, I will try to find more food for mama
and since she cant really eat, as in no appetite, and can drink well, I shall make the drinks or soup for her, as long as she said can taste

FOOD DELIVERY 2

 last Friday's dinner was considered the best for papa... =D
as usual to mama, its still bitter...........sigh

tonight's dinner... which is day 4 bah
none of these are to mama's taste
but I told her, what to do... just eat to stay full
and she has the salmon which she dun want to steam then what can I do???

sigh

anyway I told her le salmon and egg, every night she has to do it
the whatever good tt comes with the tingkat is just to supplement her
just dun want to listen