I QUIT...sianz....

frankly speaking, it really did not popped into my mind to inform her of my meetings (3 to be exact)
so when she was being questioned she cannot gave a good reply
like what she said how could she knows what is happening if no one informed her
sigh
arrggghhhh
*pull hair*
and today the "punching bag" is ur's truly..........

when she asked me why did not inform her
i was like "really, i forgot and it never occur to me to get her involved" look
and then i told her the truth, nothing but the truth tt i simply FORGOT
but she won't buy it
and said tt she has reminded us many times but we choose to fall on deaf ears
and i did not respect her

i was very sad
i mean
why she always want to think this way???
why cannot think of other things
if she always like this then how to be happy
i mean, happy working here
she will feel tt everyone of us is gg against her
when we are not

she herself told us the team is small le
so we must be unite
unite we stand
but how can we be unite when she has her own perspection of us..........

she claimed she is incapable for the post and therefore cannot lead us
but i dun think so
i mean, this is just one small issue and she took it like BIG F***
i mean, i apologised tt i forgot to inform her
she asked me whats the concern, what is there to hide?
come on lor, office very small nia, what is there to hide....
sigh
who does not know tt paper no can wrap fire
sigh
so what is there to hide?

i do understand where she coming from
imgaine i am in her shoes and i kana questioned by boss what is ur staff doing
and i know nuts
how badly does it reflect on me as a boss to to my staff
but then again, i will be a smart boss lor
i will try to cover the fact tt i dun know anything and convince boss tt the staff is having whatever meeting and when the staff comes back i will clarify with him lor
i mean, why act in such a manner
where got dun respect
come on lor, if dun respect, i dun have to wait till today then dun respect
or she feels tt i dun respect since day 1 le
=(

i spoilt her mood today
and so will i do tt again on monday to my other colls
coz she said she wants to talk to the rest
i apologised and told her tt i have nothing to hide and there is no concern tt she cannot know abt my meetings, but pls dun scold my other colls who are innocent to this inccident
i am the fault, i am the root
though she claimed tt its not just me
everybody does tt
and she simply dun understand

and what shocked me most was she actually went into the den to say "i quit"!!!
not tt i want to see her go
but i do feel tt she is doing a good job
just becoz of my mistake, she decided tts it!!!
can't be tt simple rite
trying to prove what? do what or make some statement?
office cannot dun have her
but office can dun have me
so i think i have to go, for her to stay
and i gladly will do so.......

i have to thank the man in the den
he puts in some good words for me
"i dun think she deliberately did it"
and then she went on to rattle until he got mad and went "contracts unit is small, i never stop your contracts manager to inform u"
kua kua kua
"fight" until like this........
and i am the root
and i just felt bad

but come to think of it
bosses quarrelled becoz of me leh......hehehe so honoured
imagine boss quit becoz of me, lagi honoured lor
hahaha
pui lor
she better stay if not all will be in trouble
who knows what is gg on
only her

then hor, in the evening, i waited for her
coz i want to resolve this issue before i sleep tonight
and true enough, she lashed out on me
but i gladly let her do it
and i just listened
she still claimed tt i dun respect her
what is it to hide and what is my concern
sigh
nothing, really nothing
but she dun believed me

she citied examples like the office relocation, the other officer will come report to her on everything
and she is very happy abt it
but she is unhappy coz the person who updated her is not me
come on lor
tt guy wants to claim credit wants to shine
so be it lor
i let him do it
and hor, becoz i also seldom attend the meetings so what can i update her on
and whenever he comes to update her, its all full of complains
i dun do tt lor
i mean, i just want to do my job
not be a complained queen
told sabo queen, this officer will get me into trouble one day
and it really did
on her bad mood.........

then today i have meetings back to back
i came back, she was not in her cubicle
so i typed an email to update her on the status of the meetings and even informed her of my meetings next week
she came back from the den
saw the emails and said "u dun even want to update me. and just send me an email. expect me to read on my own?"
oh my god!!
she is angry with me now, how i know will she wants to talk to me
at least i send an email to cover myself first mah
she dun read email also not my fault le
u know wat i mean
everything my fault?
cannot be rite
just becoz mood no good, does not mean everything my fault mah
so i told her i can update her verbally if she wants to
and she told me "LD is such an impt thing. why u did not inform me? whats there to hide?"
oh! come on! i thought we can settle it at our level, so no need involve her mah
but then after she said something like "u cannot shoulder everything yourself de"
and also something like "u want to wait till big bomb then let me know?"
and something abt she and her ex coll last time, will AUTOMATICALLY informed their boss, ml de
then i realised where she coming from
she wants to know every single details de
not like last time, annie or cheng cheng, they dun bother abt us de
we just do do do, do out projects
then end of the day just closed it and ta da!!
good job!!
tts why lor.
now i understand l

she even asked me is it becoz she own self over reacted or over sensitive
i told her she is over reacting in the sense she kept saying tt i disrespect her
then she said "i dun think so leh. ur actions tell me tt u dun respect me"
and so i decided to diam diam and let her yak le
come on lor
only she wins and she says
and the other party will only lose and has no say

so no problem
everyday, if she free, i sure go jio jio her de
if tts what she expecting
or she can even fixed a weekly meeting for us to update her of our meetings and also informed her of our meetings.... and then she chooses to attend or not its up to her

as long as she happy
can le
=))

time to go.....look for alternative route le